Treasures Women Meeting (May 2017)
Bulan ini kita akan masuk ke dalam tema Harga Diri, atau Self-Worth. Harga Diri merupakan satu hal yang penting dan fundamental dalam hidup, karena kita tidak akan bisa pergi jauh dan memberi dampak jika kita salah dalam menilai harga diri kita.
Harga Diri adalah hal terpenting yang harus kita temukan terlebih dahulu. Tuhan menciptakan wanita untuk menjadi seorang penolong, itu adalah ide dan panggilan Tuhan disaat menciptakan seorang wanita.
Opening Verse – TUHAN Allah berfirman: "Tidak baik, kalau manusia itu seorang diri saja. Aku akan menjadikan penolong baginya, yang sepadan dengan dia."Kejadian 2:18
Sejak membaca ayat diatas, saya mengerti kenapa saat suami ditinggal oleh istri-nya meninggal, pasti mereka tidak akan tahan untuk hidup dalam kesendirian dan tidak lama kemudian akan segera menikah kembali. Saya sempat membahas hal ini dengan suami saya, dan saya berkata bahwa mungkin dia juga akan berlaku demikian dan dia hanya tertawa mendengar-nya. Lelaki tidak bisa hidup sendirian karena mereka membutuhkan seorang Penolong.
Seorang Penolong bukan hanya bisa dalam satu hal, dia disebut seorang penolong karena dia mampu menolong dalam berbagai hal dalam kehidupan lelaki. Tuhan menempatkan Hawa di samping Adam bukan hanya sebagai seorang pendamping atau pemanis, tetapi sebagai seorang penolong yang akan memampukan Adam untuk menjalani rencana Tuhan di dalam hidup-nya.
Tetapi perlu diketahui bahwa Penolong bukan hanya dalam konteks wanita sebagai istri, penolong sudah menjadi panggilan di dalam diri wanita.
Contoh-nya, Wanita sangat cepat tergerak hati-nya untuk berbelas kasihan, walaupun hanya dalam mengeluarkan kata-kata "Aduh, Kasihan…". Pria sangat jarang atau tidak pernah mengatakan hal ini. Penolong cepat untuk menaruh belas kasihan.
Selain itu, Perempuan cepat tergerak hati-nya untuk membereskan sesuatu yang tidak beres, untuk menolong dan mengatur semua-nya, serta menuntaskan pembicaraan orang lain. Oleh karena itu, Tuhan memperlengkapi kita dengan kekuatan-kekuatan untuk memampukan kita agar berfungsi dengan baik sebagai seorang Penolong.
Misal-nya, dalam hal Multi-Tasking, Wanita bisa fokus ke banyak titik, tidak seperti Pria yang Single-Tasking. Saat saya sedang fokus mempersiapkan kotbah saya, tetapi pada saat bersamaan saya juga bisa mencuci baju sebentar, ke dapur mempersiapkan makanan anak-anak. Banyak hal yang bisa dilakukan pada satu waktu yang bersamaan.
Wanita cepat dan pandai dalam mengenali kekurangan. Mari kita lihat secara lanjut akan hal ini dalam Beauty Campaign DOVE, dimana mereka melakukan survey kepada wanita mengenai kekurangan dan kelebihan yang mereka miliki.
Links Video DOVE Beauty Campaign :
Mengenali kekurangan dapat dilakukan dalam hitungan detik, semua keluar begitu saja. Tetapi begitu ditanya kelebihan, perlu konsentrasi penuh dan waktu yang lama untuk mengenali-nya. Kita perlu pertimbangan yang matang untuk mengenali kelebihan kita karena kita suka membandingkan diri dengan orang lain.
Sewaktu saya melihat video ini, saya merasa sedih sekali. Bukan karena mereka tidak memiliki kelebihin satu-pun, saya sedih karena melihat cara mereka memandang diri mereka yang sangat rendah, sampai tidak bisa menonjolkan satu kelebihan di dalam tubuh mereka, itulah kecenderungan kita sebagai Wanita.
Kita selalu merasa ada saja yang kurang dan belum sempurna, kurang tinggi, kurang putih, kurang kurus, kurang besar bagian tubuh-nya, dsb. Kekuatan yang ada, dengan tujuan awal untuk menolong bisa menjadi kekuatan yang menghancurkan jika kita salah menggunakan-nya.
Tidak sedikit orang yang menganggap hal ini sebagai suatu hal yang serius dalam hidup-nya. Bagaimana kita memandang diri kita saat ini? apakah kita memandang diri kita dengan benar, atau lebih rendah daripada apa yang sebenar-nya?
Bagaimana kita memandang diri kita sangat penting, karena itu akan menentukan sikap, keputusan yang diambil, arah hidup dan mentalitas kita. Kita tidak suka jika orang lain berkata buruk mengenai diri kita, tetapi seringkali kita menjadi pengkritik yang paling kejam akan diri kita sendiri. Kita tidak akan bisa pergi jika suara dan kritik itu selalu datang dari diri kita sendiri, dan ini akan merusak harga diri dari generasi yang ada di bawah kita. Saya akan menjelaskan lebih lanjut melalui video yang akan saya putar selanjutnya.
Links Video : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pqknd1ohhT4
Seringkali tanpa kita sadari, kita mewariskan perasaan not good enough, or not smart enough kepada anak gadis dan generasi muda kita. Not Good Enough menyebabkan tidak ada-nya rasa percaya diri dalam menjalani hidup ini sedangkan rasa percaya diri adalah kunci agar kita bisa berhasil dalam menjalani hidup ini.
Hari ini saya akan membahas mengenai Confidence atau Percaya Diri.
Confidence bukan mengenai cara berjalan, bergaya dan berpenampilan, bukan bergantung dengan siapa yang ada di samping dan sekitar saya, atau merasa lebih baik dari orang lain, tetapi bagaimana seorang bisa berjalan dengan percaya diri, menatap dengan fokus ke satu titik di depan. Confidence adalah percaya diri untuk menjadi diri sendiri.
Kita bebas untuk menjadi apa saja, kecuali menjadi orang lain. Kita bebas untuk melakukan apa saja, kecuali meng-copy orang lain. Kita tidak perlu menjadi sama dengan orang lain karena perbedaan itu indah.
Tuhan menciptakan kita dengan spesial, bukan secara mainstream. Jadi mengapa kita harus berada di garis yang ditetapkan oleh dunia? Kita tidak perlu membandingkan diri kita dengan orang lain, pada kenyataan-nya tidak semua orang dilahirkan dengan tubuh yang semampai, rambut yang cantik seperti iklan shampoo, kulit yang kinclong, wajah yang cantik, tetapi apakah dengan demikian Tuhan tidak menciptakan kita dengan tidak sempurna?
Confidence is not a self denial atau penyangkalan diri, menyangkal kekurangan yang ada di dalam diri kita. Tetapi Confidence bersikap positif mengenai apa yang dapat dilakukan dan tidak khawatir dengan apa yang tidak dapat dilakukan.
Banyak orang salah dalam bersikap confidence, mereka menutupi kekurangan mereka dengan sikap yang overconfidence, sesuatu yang over itu tidak bagus. Confident People bukan tidak mengakui kekurangan, tetapi mereka tidak membesar-besarkan hal itu dan memilih untuk berkosentrasi di atas kelebihan mereka, bukan dalam kekurangan.
Sebaliknya orang dengan kepercayaan diri yang rendah tidak akan merasa yakin dengan apapun juga, selalu ragu dalam mengambil keputusan, dan tergantung dengan orang lain karena mereka selalu meragukan diri sendiri dan meminta validasi dari orang lain.
Bagaimana membangun kepercayaan diri?
1. Kita harus tahu siapa diri kita.
Kita ini adalah karya agung-nya Tuhan, God's Masterpiece. Tiada dua-nya dan dibanggakan oleh Tuhan. Kita bukan hasil cetakan, oleh sebab itu kita tidak sama dengan yang lain, mungkin mirip tapi tidak sama. Oleh sebab itu setiap dari kita spesial, unik dan tidak ada bandingan-nya. Tuhan tidak membandingkan diri kita dengan ciptaan-Nya yang lain, jadi mengapa kita harus membandingkan diri kita dengan orang lain?
Ini-lah kepercayaan diri yang benar dan harus kita bangun, dibangun diatas siapa diri kita sesungguh-nya, bukan berdasarkan apa yang ada dan terjadi dalam hidup kita tetapi harus dibangun akan kesadaran bahwa ada Tangan Tuhan di dalam setiap kita. Tidak satu-pun dari kita yang tidak bernilai dan tidak berguna.
Ingat bahwa tidak ada yang tidak penting bagi Tuhan, kita semua bernilai dan diberikan kemampuan oleh Tuhan. Tuhan tidak pernah melakukan kesalahan, sementara manusia mungkin melakukan kesalahan. Ada dari kita yang dilahirkan dengan keadaan yang ditolak, karena setiap dari kita diberikan Tuhan kebebasan tetapi Rencana Tuhan adalah yang terbaik untuk kita semua. Kita harus percaya bahwa Tuhan sanggup untuk melakukan yang terbaik bagi hidup kita.
Supporting Verse – Kita tahu sekarang, bahwa Allah turut bekerja dalam segala sesuatu untuk mendatangkan kebaikan bagi mereka yang mengasihi Dia, yaitu bagi mereka yang terpanggil sesuai dengan rencana Allah. Roma 8:28 TB
Jadi siapa yang ada di dalam Kristus, ia adalah ciptaan baru ; yang lama sudah berlalu, sesungguhnya yang baru sudah datang. 2 Korintus 5:17
Kalau kita mengerti ayat-ayat ini di dalam membangun harga diri dan hidup kita, kita akan menjadi percaya diri, terutama disaat kita berjalan di dalam panggilan hidup kita, dengan tahu siapa diri kita yang sesungguhnya di dalam Kristus.
Tuhan adalah Tuhan yang penuh dengan Otoritas. Apa yang diucapkan ada otoritas-nya, Tuhan tahu siapa diri-Nya. Demikian juga dalam hidup kita, banyak orang merasa lemah karena mereka tidak mempunyai otoritas karena dia tidak tahu siapa diri-nya dan akan tujuan hidup-nya
2. Terima Siapa Diri Kita.
Banyak orang mungkin tahu siapa diri kita di dalam Kristus, terutama bagi mereka yang sudah aktif di gereja dari kecil, dan suka mengikuti berbagai pertemuan gereja seperti Treasures Women. Tetapi tidak semua orang benar-benar bisa menerima diri mereka sebagaimana mereka ada.
Ini adalah 2 hal yang berbeda, Tidak tahu siapa diri-mu, dan Tidak menerima diri-mu. Menolak diri tidak akan merubah apa-pun, justru akan menambah masalah baru dan membuat kita jauh dari rencana Tuhan atas hidup kita. Penerimaan diri-lah yang akan membuat kita menghadapi kenyataan, dan membuat kita belajar untuk mengatasi permasalahan itu.
Kita tidak akan bisa mengatasi apa-pun dalam hidup disaat kita menolak untuk menerima kenyataan.
Jangan biarkan siapapun menghakimi diri kita dengan membuat kita untuk menyangkal diri sendiri. Ini-lah yang sering terjadi akhir-akhir ini. Kita harus punya otoritas bahwa "Ini-lah Kita", jangan biarkan seorang-pun menghakimi kita untuk menyangkal diri kita sendiri. Tuhan tidak akan membantu kita untuk menjadi orang lain, tetapi Dia hanya akan membantu kita untuk menjadi diri kita sendiri.
Be Original, Jadilah sebagaimana kita diciptakan. Jadilah the Best Version of Yourself. Not Be The Best. Jangan pernah menghilangkan atau menambahkan satu kata. Belajar dengan kejadian-kejadian yang ada.
Kita mau menjadi yang terbaik dari diri kita karena kita punya kekuatan tersendiri yang Tuhan sudah tempatkan untuk kita, Kita punya masa depan tersendiri yang Tuhan sudah berikan, dan Kita punya panggilan hidup sendiri, Be The Best Version of Yourself.
Hadapilah dan Terima Kenyataan, Face the Reality. Seperti pemikiran kita bahwa tidak semua orang diciptakan dengan sempurna. Di dunia ini pasti akan selalu ada orang yang lebih baik dan cantik daripada kita, tetapi bukan dengan demikian kita menjadi orang yang minder, tidak percaya diri dan tidak bisa melakukan apa-apa. Terima Kebenaran, maka Kebenaran itu akan membebaskan kita. Kita melakukan sesuatu bukan karena kita ingin menjadi lebih baik dari orang lain, tetapi kita melakukan sesuatu karena itu adalah panggilan hidup kita.
3. Tambahkan Nilai ke dalam kehidupan kita.
Nilai perlu dijaga, dan perlu diasah untuk menjadikan sesuatu yang baik menjadi semakin baik. Ibarat-nya sebuah berlian, jika masih mentah, tidak akan seindah berlian yang ada di toko. Kita punya nilai yang tinggi di dalam Tuhan, dan nilai ini perlu dijaga dan diasah, untuk menjadikan sesuatu yang luar biasa semakin luar biasa.
Banyak orang jatuh bukan karena menanamkan nilai yang keliru dalam hidup-nya tetapi karena tidak ada nilai yang ditanam dalam hidup-nya.
Orang salah dalam mengambil keputusan karena nilai yang dipegang-nya salah, orang bingung dalam mengambil keputusan karena tidak ada nilai yang dipegang dalam hidup-nya.
Nilai itu seperti batasan, layaknya orang yang berperang tanpa mempersiapkan diri-nya. Nilai adalah persiapan kita dalam menghadapi hidup ini. Tanpa nilai, setiap orang bisa masuk dengan sembarangan. Nilai harus dibangun dengan serius dan sengaja.
Gampang sekali melihat orang apakah dia tertarik dengan sesuatu atau seseorang. Kalau seseorang tertarik kepada kita, maka dia akan mencari tahu, demikian juga dengan hidup, apakah kita tertarik dengan kebenaran? jika iya, maka kita akan terus mencari-nya dan menerima dengan senang hati.
Ada perbedaan antara menerima tamu, dan mengundang tamu. Dalam hal menerima tamu, mau tidak mau kita harus menerima tamu yang ada di depan rumah, sedangkan dalam hal mengundang tamu, kita dengan sengaja dan aktif mengundang orang lain untuk masuk ke rumah kita. Begitu juga dengan Kebenaran, serius atau tidak di kehidupan sehari-hari dalam mencari kebenaran dan bagaimana kita membangun nilai di dalam hidup.
Roh Kudus menolong dan memperkenalkan kita ke standar kehidupan yang lebih tinggi. Kita ini dilahirkan dengan keadaan yang kosong, dengan modal nilai yang didapat dari Tuhan. Tidak ada yang lebih baik selain menambah nilai dalam hidup dengan memperbaharui cara kita berpikir. Kita tidak bisa melakukan ini kalau kita tidak mencari kebenaran.
Banyak orang mau hidup berkemenang-an dan mengambil keputusan dengan benar, tetapi dalam perjalanan hidup tidak ada nilai dan pengenalan akan Tuhan yang dibangun. Banyak orang juga berkata bahwa Perubahan itu didapat dari pergumulan hidup, tetapi menurut saya perubahan didapat pembaharuan pikiran.
Pergumulan hanya membuat kita semakin tertekan, mengasihani diri sendiri, merasa takut dan dihakimi. Pada saat kita mulai memperbaharui cara kita berpikir, maka secara otomatis apa yang keluar dari mulut kita, dan tindakan yang kita lakukan akan berbeda.
Firman Tuhan mungkin tidak akan mengubah keadaan, tetapi Firman Tuhan akan mengubah cara kita memandang diri kita sendiri, lebih menghargai karya ciptaan Tuhan daripada merendahkan. Kejarlah kedewasaan dan bukan kesempurnaan. Tidak ada yang sempurna di dunia ini dan kita tidak perlu mengejar itu. Kalau fokus kita disana, kita akan menemukan banyak kekecewaan, hidup kita akan jauh lebih mudah kalau kita mengejar kedewasaan.
Setiap hal kecil dapat mengajarkan nilai. Seringkali disaat saya menonton suatu film, saya suka bisa menemukan nilai kehidupan, yang mungkin tidak secara rohani. Tetapi ada moral yang bisa didapat dan diaplikasikan ke dalam hidup saya. Selama kita mau membuka mata, hati dan mau belajar, hal sekecil apa-pun bisa memberikan kita pelajaran untuk hidup ini.
Kedewasaan seseorang tidak dilihat dari pembawaan diri, tetapi dilihat dari cara berpikir-nya. Cara Berpikir itu didapat dari pengenalan akan Firman Tuhan. Masalah-nya banyak orang menjadi putus asa karena gagal untuk menemukan-nya. Tidak pernah Tuhan biarkan kita gagal kalau kita mau melakukan sesuatu yang benar. Seringkali kita melakukan itu dengan kekuatan sendiri dan membuat kita capai, putus asa, dan melepaskan itu.
Karena itu kita memerlukan Roh Kudus dalam hidup, Kita perlu untuk cinta Tuhan Yesus dan hidup dalam pimpinan Roh Kudus. Cinta Tuhan itu mudah dan bisa hanya di mulut, tetapi orang yang dipimpin oleh Roh Kudus akan mengeluarkan buah-buah Roh dalam hidup-nya. Taat kepada pimpinan-Nya dan percaya bahwa kita pasti berubah.
Orang yang dewasa bukan-lah orang yang sempurna, tetapi orang yang dewasa adalah orang yang secure akan diri-nya sendiri, bisa menerima kekurangan diri tanpa perlu ter-intimidasi dan bisa menerima kelebihan diri sendiri tanpa perlu tinggi hati.
Kita tidak sempurna, tetapi kita lebih baik dari kita kemarin. And the Good News, setiap dari kita bisa menjadi lebih baik dari kemarin. Saya sudah mengenal Tuhan selama hampir setengah dari umur saya (saat usia 26 tahun), saya berpikir bahwa itu sudah agak terlambat, tapi Roh Kudus berbicara ke saya bahwa tidak ada yang terlambat di dalam Tuhan, terutama jika kita sungguh-sungguh mengejar Tuhan.
Tuhan sanggup mengembalikan sesuatu yang tidak baik dari masa lalu kita untuk dijadikan sesuatu yang membawa kemuliaan bagi nama-Nya
Sharing Angela – Beberapa bulan lalu, ada teman saya seorang pendeta yang bertanya, jika saya bisa berjalan kembali menemui diri saya semasa muda, Apakah ada pesan atau pertanyaan yang mau saya sampaikan pada diri muda saya? Saya sempat berpikir untuk mengatakan "Don't do stupid things", tetapi saya tiba-tiba berpikir, yang bodoh adalah jika saat ini sudah mengenal Kasih Karunie Tuhan dan tetap melakukan hal-hal bodoh. Masa lalu biarlah berlalu, tatap masa depan dengan percaya diri, karena masa depan selalu lebih baik dari masa lalu kita.
Kita tidak perlu membandingkan diri kita dengan orang lain, Kita tidak perlu menginginkan kehidupan orang lain, Kita tidak perlu menjadi orang lain karena Yesus telah memberikan yang terbaik untuk hidup kita, yaitu diri-Nya sendiri di atas kayu salib. Kita begitu bernilai di hadapan-Nya, itulah yang terbaik yang ada dalam hidup kita.
Saya mau menutup sharing saya dengan video kesaksian dari anak muda yang begitu luar biasa disini. Saya berdoa dan berharap agar Roh Kudus bisa memperharui cara kita memandang diri kita sendiri dan berjalan dengan penuh percaya diri.
Closing Video - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWi5iXnguTU
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